Love – Part 2


This month, the Christian Writer’s Blog chain is covering the subject of love. For me, this is a little case of unfortunate timing, since just last month I wrote a reasonably in depth study of what the Bible has to say about love (read it here) as part of my series on the fruit of the spirit. Maybe I should have waited. I had to stop and think, what more is there to say? So I thought I might look a little into one aspect of love that I didn’t cover much in my previous article – the romantic intimate love in marriage.

It seems fitting that we are writing about love in the month of February – since during this month, many people celebrate ‘Valentine’s Day’ (which incidentally is going to be my seventh wedding anniversary). I’m going to share a little of what God has to say about marriage love, and also share some of my own love story.

When I was in high school, I really had no interest in relationships like the other kids did. I was much too focussed on computers and science fiction. I though all this fussing over girls was rather silly. As I headed toward my late teens and into my twenties I had a newfound respect for romantic relationships, but was certain they were not to be a part of my life. My destiny was to be single – which was fine. As time went on I began to doubt the fact that I was immune to the need for romantic love in my life – but was still absolutely convinced that no female could possibly find me attractive – let alone choose me as the one male in all the world to spend her life with.

Wedding Photo

Then I met Linda and some crazy miracle happened. At the age of 24 I had my first girlfriend, who became my fiance, and then my wife. There were a few challenges to overcome. We lived in different states, so there were geographical concerns, but it all worked out.

I remember the lead-up to my wedding. I put a lot of thought into the groom’s speech. Our wedding reception would be one of the few times I would ever be standing in front of a group of people, with their attention on what I was saying, and I wanted to make my speech count. I wanted to honour my family and close friends, and with un-characteristic boldness I wanted to share about the love of Jesus. A particlar verse was very much on my heart at that time.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radint church, without stain or wrinkles or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.”
Ephesians 5:25-27

As I spoke I explained how this verse providede me the example to follow – and it was a heavy assignment. I had to put my wife first. I had to be willing to die for her – both literally and metaphorically. Could I love my wife to way Jesus loved me? I was sure gonna try!

This highlights an important thing about love. Love is not about what I can get (that’s lust). Love is about what I can give. Love says I need to put the needs of another person above my own needs. Love needs to be self-less. As I reflect on all of ths I am very much aware that I haven’t alway succeded. Sometimes I have failed miserably, but the story is not over yet.

Now here’s the cool part. When we are in a marriage – we are focusing on loving and caring for the needs of another person – but that person is in turn focussed on loving us and caring for our needs. When this is taking place something beautiful happens. You realise that you don’t have to even worry about yourself because the one that you love is loving you back. No marriage is perfect and sometimes reality doesn’t reflect this ideal but it is something every married man and woman should strive for. Marriage is beautiful. Marriage rocks! If it looks like I am using ‘romantic love’ and ‘marriage’ as synonyms that’s probably because that is how I see it. The two are inseperable; but don’t get me wrong, the same principles from marriage can and should be applied to non-romantic love as well. Romantic love is just one picture of God’s love for us. There are many others, such as the love between parent and child, the love between two friends, and even the love for a stranger.

Follow The Chain

About Adam David Collings

Adam Collings is a writer of speculative fiction who works as a software engineer during the day. He lives in Tasmania, Australia with his wife and two children. Adam is currently working on a science fiction novel.
This entry was posted in Devotionals, Family and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Love – Part 2

  1. TraciB says:

    Very good post, Adam. I enjoyed reading about your love journey so far. 🙂

  2. E G Lewis says:

    This is a beautiful post, Adam. I pray that the only change you and Linda experience in your relationship is a deepening of your love. It seems there are two kinds of people in this world, givers and takers. For a marriage to survive at least one of the parties has to a giver. But when you put two givers together…then you’ve really got something!
    Peace and Blessings on your upcoming anniversary.

  3. I know we cannot always reach our goals. But for you to have set the goal of loving your wife as Christ loved the church brings tears to my eyes.

    We cannot be perfect as Christ was perfect, but we can strive for that perfection. May God bless your endeavors!

  4. thebiblestop says:

    Great post. I pray for God to continue to bless your marriage.

  5. Love in a marriage sure can be beautiful. We’ll be married 22 yrs this June. Though we work together daily, I still get excited about seeing him return from a trip after only a day or two absence. We still feel like newlyweds in many ways!

    Each week I do interviews with published authors who share their experiences of getting published and give tips from what they’ve learned. If you would like to learn more about writing, you can find them at…

  6. Tracy Krauss says:

    Your post was so touching. I especially enjoyed the ‘peek’ inside your personal experience and adding the picture of your two dancing at your wedding was very romantic. Who says a Sci-fi loving computer guy can’t be romantic?

  7. Sarah says:

    Oh, I LOVED this post! Your story of love is so very touching. You have built a wonderful foundation in your commitment to your wife. Congratulations to both of you on seven years! 😀

  8. Wordsculptor says:

    Love is certainly a journey. When we start out we may have a picture of that journey and even a map (Ephesians 5) but it is only the experience of love that provides the reality. So we may wander off the ‘ideal’ from time to time but with scripture as the SatNav we’ll get there in the end.

  9. Linda Yezak says:

    Marriage rocks! I agree. I didn’t think so the first time, and ten years went by before I dared try it again. But God has blessed me with almost twenty years with a man who I love more today than I did when I said “I do.”

  10. Happy Anniversary! What a beautiful picture of marriage as God intended — other-centered, compassionate, forgiving, the desire to love like Jesus. Thank you for sharing your heart and a little glimpse into your life. 🙂

  11. Thank you Adam. I am glad.

  12. Nona says:

    Awesome! 🙂 Happy Anniversary, and thank you for the blessing of your post. Like you, I was a late bloomer in love and married my first love at the age of 34.

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